The romance factor

Have you ever stopped to consider what romance really is? The essence of romance is letting your partner know how much you love and appreciate them. True romance makes him/her feel special. There are many ways to be romantic, but one of the secrets to romance is to avoid repetition. If you keep doing the same thing over and over, then eventually it becomes stale and loses its romantic quality.

What I am going to suggest might take you by surprise. You may even think, “There is no way that I can do that!” But I encourage you to keep reading. This secret romance tool is writing love poems. Now that you know the secret, hear me out.

I do not usually get excited about poetry, but I had a boyfriend once that wrote me great love poems. It made a big impression on me. In the past, I would not have known how to write love poetry.

Then I remembered haikus from high school English classes. Even if you are not a poet, haikus are fun and easier to compose than traditional poems.

What is a haiku

A haiku is a poem made up of just three lines. It does not rhyme and it does not have a rhythm to it. Traditionally, the first line has five syllables, the second line has seven syllables, and the third line has five syllables.

Here is an example of a haiku:

Jeff: a man of lovesweet, funny, warm, and loving

who fills me with joy

Even though a haiku is traditionally written about nature, you can write about anything you want. There is no better topic to write about than your love.

A potent romance tool

If you want to score some big romance points, then try writing a haiku for the love of your life. You might just be surprised by the response that you get. After all, the purpose of romance is to express your love and appreciation for your mate. Is there a better way to express your love other than writing about it? A love poem can be a powerful way to evoke romantic and loving feelings.

Article by Laurel Barnet from http://www.BuildingYourDreamMarriage.com

Poetry and romance have long been close companions. So if you want to show you know how to be romantic, start paying a bit of attention to the poetic side of your nature.

Patrick Moberg, A 21 year old guy from New york, saw Camille Hayton on the subway and thought she looked a real cutie. He really wanted to talk to her but couln’t get up the nerve to start a conversation. Just as he managed to screw up his couorage she jumped up and plunged off the train into the crowd of commuters. And she disappeared from site. A romance that was never to be.

But Patrick decided that he couldn’t leave things at that. he just had to meet her. So he had a freind make a drawing of her together with him and he posted it on a web site called nygirlofmydreams.com. Now you’d really think that the chances that this girl would come across this picture are pretty remote. That’s the stuff fairy tales are mad of. Not real life. But guess what? Yep, she saw it, made contact and agreed to go out on a date.

Isn’t that a fairy tale love story?

But here’s some points to consider:

• Don’t let opportunity pass you by. Patrick was very lucky (amazingly lucky, let’s face it) that the girl of his dreams actually saw the picture he posted on the web. He had the opportunity to talk to her on the train and he didn’t grasp it. It could all have ended so differently.
• But having missed an initial opportunity, don’t just give up. follow through and who knows where it will get you. Just look at Patrick.

Romance is everywhere. Even on a crowded subway. Part of knowing how to be romantic is recognising those opportunities for romance and grasping them.

Try giving your partner a virtual kiss. You might think that it’s impossible to kiss your partner in a long distance relationship but virtual kisses can be the answer

Try making a lipstick mark on a handkerchief with your mouth or write a “Kiss in Advance” note on a paper and send it to your partner. Tell your partner that you wanted to give them a kiss in advance and ask them to keep the handkerchief or note to remind you of the kiss when he or she sees you the next time.

Make sure you take the time to have fun with your long distance lover. You might try playing an playing online computer game, surfing the internet, watching a movie at the same time as each other. If it’s a comedy movie it can be fun to send text messages to each other about the movie as you’re watching it. Or you could spend the whole evening telling jokes to each other on the phone. Reminisce about the good times that you have had while together and share them while chatting on the phone. And you can also tease and make jokes about your partner just to lighten up your conversation from time to time. Just make sure you don’t overdo the teasing as people can feel more sensitive to teasing when there is distance between them. The idea is to have fun while both of you had the opportunity to talk to each other on the phone.

Putting spark and variety into your long distance communications with your partner will remind them that you do know how to be romantic and that you are a fun person, even from a long distance.

Communication is of the highest importance in demonstrating how to be romantic in a long distance relationship:

The telephone is one of your most important tools. Hearing each others’ voices with tone and emotion helps bring you closer together. Don’t just rely on text messages or emails.

Use the opportunity to sweet talk to your partner. Say how much you miss them and how much you love them. Never think that you can tell someone you love them too many times. Make sure you tell your long distance partner that you still treasure and care for them even when they are not physically with you. And let them know that even though you can’t be physically with them, you are constantly thinking of them.

Frequent short phone calls to your long distance partners are better than just a couple of long conversations a week. They help to remind your partner that you’re constantly thinking of them.

And when your long distance partner is telling you what has been going on in their life, make sure you’re really listening.  It’s important to be able to listen and understand completely the things that your partner is telling you, whether it is about their day, or what they’re hoping for, or they’re dreams. If your partner gets a hint over the phone that you’re not really listening to them then the distance between you will seem twice as far. And  communication will get more and more frustration.

Remember you are their only trusted person that they can look for to share their feelings with. Perhaps to relieve their anger or frustration about something in their day. You’re the one they want to share these intimate feelings with without having to worry. So it is really important that you’re able to listen with care when your partner needs you to lend them your ear. Sharing with your partner will always allow you to build and enhance the romantic moment in your relationship, and to remind them that regardless of distance you still know how to be romantic.

Just remember, it’s important that you maintain the element of surprise, because that demonstrates that you’ve thought about it and put in a bit of effort to come up with this treat. There are so many ways you can create special and meaningful surprises for her. Once you start you won’t know where to stop, and of course you’ll show her that you know how to be romantic.

And then when the relationship progresses we start to forget about how romance in the relationship brought freshness and excitement. We start to ignore the romantic side of our relationship in the hurly burly of everyday life.

And that’s particularly true of our relationship after we have been married for a couple of years. Especially once the children come on the scene. Suddenly there’s not enough time to focus on each other. To do the little things that used to bring so much joy and pleasure to our early relationship.

In his book The First Years of Forever, Ed Wheat says

Strangely enough, when lovers become husbands, they sometimes forget how to be romantic — the very thing their wives need and desire. If forgetful lovers could only realize that the sweet thrills of being in love provide an expectancy which literally transforms ordinary life.

So don’t let romance fly out of the window when daily routine walks in the door. If you stop remembering how to be romantic, you could find yourself in this guy’s situation.

Next time you’re in your email, send your partner a sweet and loving email. Even if they’re in the next room! It doesn’t have to be a long love letter. A simple “just wanted to tell you that I love you” email says all you need to say. It’s the unexpected intrusion into your partner’s everyday life of a little shot of romance that makes such a powerful impact.

Little things like this cost nothing, take practically no time and send a powerful message to your partner. They add a lift to their spirits and their day. Small messages like this reinforce how much you care because they demonstrate that you are thinking about your partner even though they are not with you. Everybody likes to receive that reinforcement. It’s the small things that really demonstrate that you know how to be romantic.

Well if you ask ten different people how to be romance you’ll probably get ten different answers. And yes, it can mean many different things. But if you stop and ask yourself what’s the most important thing you want to feel in a loving relationship, what most of us is looking for is to find someone who cares about us just as much (or perhaps even more) than we care about ourselves.

We’re all seeking someone who can understand us. Someone who is tunes in to where we are coming from without the need for us to have to keep explaining what we’re thinking to them. We want someone who cares enough about us to be interested in our lives and want to ask us questions about things going on in our lives. And not only about the interesting and exciting bits, but also about the sometimes boring everyday things that make up the majority of life for most of us. And we want them to really care about our answers and about how we are feeling when we talk about those things.

We want someone to spend time with us when we don’t feel like being sociable with anyone else, To be with us when we’re feeling down and we’re not scintillating company. Someone who’ll recognise when we’re feeling down and will understand what’s needed to lift our spirits and will be prepared to make the effort to do that.

And that’s the fundamental basis of how to be romantic. There are many different ways to show that caring; to communicate the real and true feeling. But if you want to know how to be romantic, you have to start with truly truly caring.